Nikkah: The nikkah
is a religious marriage ceremony with the bride and groom in accordance with the
Islamic custom. In traditional and historical Nikkah
ceremonies, the bride and groom actually sit in separate spaces. The Qazi, or the one who recites the nikkah,
first approaches the bride to ask if she accepts this marriage. She must accept the marriage by saying
“Kabul” three times. Then the qazi does
the same with the groom. At this time,
the qazi informs the groom of the “meher,” which is a lump sum amount that the
husband must pay the wife if there is a divorce situation, in addition to
whatever is deemed by the law of the land.
The bride and groom are kept separate so that the woman can freely
decline the marriage if she was forced into it.
More modern ceremonies have the bride and groom sit next to each other as the "mukhi-saheb" (similar to a priest/member of clergy), reads the marriage contract. The Nikkah is recited in Arabic by a member of the community, or a family member or friend. However, the marriage contract contains similar clauses as the traditional and historical ceremonies.
More modern ceremonies have the bride and groom sit next to each other as the "mukhi-saheb" (similar to a priest/member of clergy), reads the marriage contract. The Nikkah is recited in Arabic by a member of the community, or a family member or friend. However, the marriage contract contains similar clauses as the traditional and historical ceremonies.
Mandhvo: four men, preferably the bride’s uncles
(mother’s brothers) bring pineapplies or sugarcane to the bride’s house and
place them in the four corners of the room.
This is meant as a symbol of protection from evil entering the
home.
Ponkwa: The ponkwa
ceremony is meant to bestow blessings. The person who is doing the ceremony
(often the bride’s/groom's mother) first places a “chandlo,” a dot of saffron
water, on the person’s forehead, representing good luck. Rice is then
placed on top of the chandlo to represent bounty and blessings. Then
colored rice, or more modern flower petals, are showered over the person three
times, again representing bounty and blessings. Finally, a sweet is placed
in the person’s mouth, to wish them sweetness in life.
Pithi: A paste made out of chickpea flour, turmeric, sandalwood
powder, herbs, aromatic oils, rose water and other ingredients. The pithi
ceremony is a joyful, playful and fun occasion in which family members and
friends bless the couple with well wishes by rubbing the pithi paste onto the
bride and groom’s arms, neck, face, hands and legs. The paste is believed to be
an excellent cleanser for providing skin glow, soft skin and shine. They may
also perform the ponkwa ceremony.
Puro: In the puro ceremony, the groom’s family brings gifts for the
bride to welcome her to the family. The trousseau trays are carried by
the groom’s sisters and female cousins. They are greeted by the bride’s
mother and her family and each girl carrying a tray is “ponked” by the bride’s
mother as she enters the hall. The girls then receive a gift in exchange
for the tray. Traditionally this is cash
or a gold or silver coin, but modern ceremonies offer the girls small gifts
such as earrings or pendants.
Mehndi (Henna): An art/practice of painting elaborate designs/patterns using a
paste made from ground leaves of the mehndi tree, which is then combined with
tea water and clove oil. During the celebration of the wedding mehndi ceremony
a professional henna applicator is called to the bride’s house to apply mehndi
onto the hands and legs of the bride. The first application of henna is put
onto the palms of the bride, and then onto her arms and legs. The evening
is filled with laughter, dance, music in which all family members and friends
participate and henna artists are also available throughout the eve to put
mehndi for guests attending the event. The celebration of the wedding mehndi
ceremony is believed to be an auspicious occasion for the bride and groom as it
symbolizes happiness, prosperity, love and strength in marriage. The mehndi
continues to remain on the hands and legs of the bride all night to ensure it
comes out darker for her wedding day. As legend has it that the “darker the
mehndi the deeper the love”.
Gari: The word gari actually means vessel in Gujarati, and thus, this
ceremony centers around a special vessel, decorated with beads and
symbols. The bride’s brothers must go to jamatkhana to collect holy water
in the gari. The gari is then covered with a coconut, which will eventually be
crushed under the grooms car after the shinda ceremony. Once the bride’s brothers
have collected the gari, they are not allowed to speak until the gari is handed
over to the bride’s mother, in order to maintain the purity of the water. When
the bride’s brothers arrive home with the gari, they are welcomed by the
bride’s mother, who ponke’s them for handing over the gari and they receive a
small gift in return.
Saapatia: This ceremony centers around sapatia, which are small, covered
clay plates filled with lentils; symbolizing abundance and bounty, silver;
symbolizing wealth, sugar; symbolizing sweetness and harmony, and
turmeric; symbolizing good health. Two sapatias are placed in front
of the couple, one in front of the groom and one in front of the bride.
The couple must break the sapatia by stepping on them, thereby releasing the
gifts they contain. It is said that the first person to break the sapatia
will rule the household.
Swastika (Sathiyo): Swastika is one of the world’s
oldest known graphic symbols which is designed as a cross with four arms of
equal length, and each arm is bent at a right angle. The word Swastika means
“all is well” in Sanskrit, and the symbol is known for bringing good fortune,
peace and harmony. This symbol is therefore considered a lucky charm and is
commonly used in Hindu art, and major part of decoration for festivals and
special ceremonies like weddings. The
swastika is often made out of colored rice and placed under the chair while the
bride and groom are going through the pithi ceremony. Modern traditions replace the swastika,
mistaken for the Nazi symbol, with a heart.
The Number Seven: This number is significant because it represents seven levels of
heaven, and guiding principles of life are also said to be blessed in seven
numbers, such as; may you be blessed with an abundance of food, may you be strong
and complement one another, may you be blessed with prosperity, may you be
eternally happy, may you be blessed with healthy children, may you live in
harmony with the seasons and enjoy longevity and may you always be the best of
friends.
Shinda: This is an official sendoff for the bride by her family, and
loved ones come to bless the couple sweetness and harmony in their new life
together. The person who is doing the ceremony (often the bride’s mother)
places her hands on the sides of the couple’s heads and then places her
knuckles on either side of her own head and cracks them. This ceremony
represents the removal of dukh, or pain, from the couple. The bride’s mother
then wraps a betel nut in the bandni, or a traditional wedding shawl and
holding the betel nut in her hand, makes seven circular motions around the
bride and groom. The betel nut is then cast off and thrown behind the
couple. This ceremony is repeated three more times, with the betel nut
thrown to the three remaining cardinal directions (betel nuts are used because
they were traditionally a rare and valuable food, used for ceremonial
offerings). This ceremony is meant to dispel evil spirits to the four corners
of the Earth and usher the couple into marriage auspiciously. The bride and
groom then prepare to leave and a coconut is placed under the front wheel of
the car by the bride’s brother, to be broken when the car drives away, this
symbolizes prosperity, generosity and blessing to the start of a journey
together.